Taking a seat at the cafe table I grabbed the menu. "I love being pregnant this time around, - I can eat whatever I want without gaining weight!" I said to my girlfriend Vicki.

I was expecting my third child and losing kilos rather then gaining them was a refreshing change.

I'd battled with my weight since I was young and during my pregnancy with my first child, Kaycie, four and my second child Douglas, one, my cravings for everything sweet meant that that I ballooned to a size 24.

But this time around because I was suffering morning sickness, I actually lost weight.

In November 1997, my second daughter, Alyssa, was born. Having lost 29kg throughout the pregnancy I felt drained and lethargic, but doctors assured me that everything was OK.

"I can’t wait to tuck into a nice hearty breakfast", I said to my doctor.

"Be careful," he warned. "As your body has rejected food for so long, your metabolism will have slowed. If you go back to eating the way you did before, you'll put on a lot of weight."

But I was only eating again, and within three months, I'd reached and all-time high of 118kg.

"I give up," I sighed to Vicki.

Let me firstly say that I have listened to a lot of new age music CDs over the years. When I got this CD and popped it into my stereo I automatically noticed the clarity and depth of this recording which was a pleasant change from a lot of the computer generated music coming out these days. Soon I found myself going into a nice comfortable trance as Eluv’s voice intertwined seamlessly with the delicate instrumental arrangements. It had a certain ‘airiness’ about it which made me feel like I was starting to float away into a nice private place in my own mind.

What really struck me therein was the seamless progression of each song into the next and how they all seemed to effortlessly flow into each other and with each new track came a deeper and more profound trance. The further you go into this album the more the music slows down and the more space is created. It is like a journey over different landscapes and soundscapes and the longer it went the more relaxed I became.

I wanted to do a write up on this CD to tell everyone what it did for me. Three years ago i was going through a hard time in my life. I was in an abusive marriage with two small kids and I was working too. I felt my life was going nowhere and I had alot of fear and was scared to go home every night because i did not know what to expect. The panic attacks and the sickness in my stomach would not stop. I never told anyone until one day a work mate looked at me and said you look like you dont want to go home you always go white in the face. I did not reply, so she told me about a CD that I should use by Rick Collingwood called Fear and Panic Free. I laughed, but i did go and buy it. I started using it.

So I went home and started using it. I remember the first night I put the CD on, I went to sleep almost straight away. When I woke up in the morning I did not feel tired – I had not had a sleep like this in years. I continued using the CD every night and kept having the most amazing sleeps.